with electric love

....gailsfknawesome

Oct 11, 2009

Who are YOU to tell me?!

[* All persons' names in this post have NOT been changed.]

At a club in Hawaii, my cousin introduced me to some of his friends and one of them was named *Laura. I'm not even trying to keep this shit a secret and I really don't give a fuck. She was unusually overly, ass-kissin' nice to me in the beginning which I thought was really weird but didn't mind. Then towards the end of the night this was the convo that went down between us:
L: Where's your husband?
G: Husband? Naw, he's not my husband, he's my boyfriend.
L: Good!! He's ugly!
G: WHAT?! [in complete shock]
L: I mean, you deserve better! You're so pretty!
G: I'm happy!!!
L: I know you're happy but there's many more fishes in the sea!
WTF RIGHT?!

I was fkn pissed I wanted to clock her monstrous face but was too appalled by the whole thing. I walked right outta there before I get myself kicked out. This fkn bitch. I mean, how can you or anyone of the matter talk to anyone like that?! I just met this beezy! And isn't she supposed to be nice to me, or at least respect me?... because I'm the cousin of one of her so called "homies?!" Who are YOU to tell me about my life?! She don't know the shit I've been through. And most importantly, she don't know how fkn GREAT the BF and I are! This gold-diggin' bitch needs to shut the fuck up. Some girls are just really dumb. No respect at all! And she complained about not having a boyfriend ... I now know why!! Girls like her have a lot of learning to do and I feel like it's gonna be for a loooooooong time for her.

So what, my boyfriend doesn't look exactly like Brad Pitt, Allen Iverson, LL Cool J, or even Edward Cullen. He is MY Brad, MY Allen, MY LL, and MY Edward all in one. I've learned that it really isn't completely all about the looks! I mean, yes, there HAS to be physical attraction mixed in the chemistry because I personally don't think I can look at Shrek or Shaq every waking day of my life, let alone nekkid. Eww. But if Brad, Allen, LL, or Edward was a cocky self centered jackass that has pleasure being an abuser, then I'd rather live without the blood sucking, hot body, and cute face.

What makes the bf flammin' hot is not only does he have lips like LL or that he IS handsome with the perfect set of "fuck me" pelvic muscles, but he also has a heart of gold. He is the most genuine and sincere person I have ever met. He's polite yet easy and fun to get along with. He makes me laugh until I cry and wipes my tears when I'm sad. I am ME when I'm with him and loves me for me even at my worst. He is a manly man but also the most hopeless romantic. He respects me as well as himself. He's a gentleman and takes care of me even though I am the cougar.

So don't tell me I deserve better... when what I have is THE BEST.

[ps. this beezy's ex was ugly anyway, so her opinion as no credibility. hah.]

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Aug 3, 2009

never judge a book by it's cover

... one of the most cliche... but most true quotes ever!

Yesterday a friend of mine realized I have a blogsite, apparently read it and said, "didn't know you were such a wordy girl..you don't seem the type." Ookkaayy... I really didn't know if that was a compliment or not and I didn't know how to take it. I asked what he meant and he said, "it's a compliment .. thought you were just a party and bullshit type of girl."

My first thought: What the Fuck??!!!

"Party and bullshit" type of girl?! I understood why he said party but... bullshit?! Does he really think I'm the bullshit type?! Does he think my life is just all party and bullshit? That I was put on this earth to take up some bullshit space? As one of my girls said it, "apparently I'm just some slutty attention whore who can't read or write." I have feelings. I have a personally. I have an identity. I have passion!! I have a life and I LOVE it. My life's not over, I'm still living it. I have goals. I've proudly reached some of them and I'm still trying to achieve goals I have and will create along the way.

Within a matter of minutes I quickly responded "Next time don't underestimate or judge anyone by what u don't know." He then responded, "never thought that you were so insightful ..I'm very impressed." Now, that's much better!!

After that, all I could do was literally laugh my ass off because I've done it once again. I proved someone wrong because they simply just didn't know the facts. I don't blame them. It happens allllll the time. Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I don't like sports. I love sports; basketball, football, baseball, boxing, etc. Just because I go clubbing and love dancing, doesn't mean I love the music. I choose underground hip hop, jazz, r&b, neosoul, and indie over top 40 mainstream mash ups. Just because I'm from Hawaii doesn't mean I'm Hawaiian and live in a grass hut. I'm Filipino and I lived in a house with a partial view of ocean from my balcony. Just because I party like a rockstar on the strip in Vegas doesn't mean I always get wasted and pass out drunk. I stop at feeling a "good buzz" and sometimes I'm the one taking care of the drunks and being the designated driver. Just because you see my cute dresses and heels on Myspace doesn't mean my whole wardrobe is all glitz and glamour. I'd rather wear sneakers and a tee or tank and flats any day. Well...Surprise! This is ME!

I understand we all past judgment or have our own inside thoughts about people (I admit to that completely) but to express them so directly and naively without knowing or asking about the facts especially if it's demeaning ... that's just plain ignorant. Leave some room for the benefit of the doubt. 'Cause in the end, you'll be the one looking like a fool foreal.

And the last thing he said was, "I guess youre not just all looks...you got brains too ;p" he fkn should've just stopped at "I'm very impressed." Because, excuse me sir, "brains too?" Ummm... I'm the one that graduated with a Bachelor of Science, Degree in Nursing thank you very much. I believe I needed "some" brain to get pass that!

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Jun 17, 2009

I Choose Happiness

A little after my previous post, "please just let me breakdown", I took a last minute 72hr mini trip to L.A. in the beginning of this month. Although I went through a whole lotta crap in May, I also complained every step of the way. It didn't stop in L.A. either - being late, dealing with traffic, hard ass interview, the Lakers winning, feeling sick, and missing a flight took a toll on me. Because of being late to LAX, I was denied to get on the plane along with another passenger who was a Vegas visitor. I was stressed, frustrated, angry, irritated, and everything in between!! While on the other hand, the other fellow seemed calm and said, "maybe it was a good thing I missed the flight, less for me to gamble my money away." Early the next morning and still frustrated, I ran into the fellow at LAX and asked if he was able to go home and come back. He simply said that he "stayed at the airport and waited the 4 hours walking around" because he lived too far. I was still frustrated and angry even for him. At our gate, he knocked over his McDonald's iced coffee. I said to him, "omg, your trip isn't starting so great, huh?!" As he was cleaning up his mess, I felt bad and frustrated for him. I thought to myself, if that were me, I would be so pissed that I stood in that long ass line at McDonald's and now 3/4 of my drink in totally gone!! And then he said calmly, "it's a good thing I bought an extra large drink so I still have some left!"

So there I was ... complaining of how the drink was half empty, when he was simply happy that it was still half full!!

And at that instant moment, I finally realized that I AM the one in control with how happy or unhappy I want to be! At that instant moment, I realized I able to CHOOSE how I want to view life's occurrences!! I truly believe meeting this stranger was my fate. We were both put in the same place at the same to for this very reason.

I've been thinking about this for a couple weeks now and I’ve been on this “inspirational-I can do anything-I love my life-I am grateful for everything & everyone” tip!! And it’s fkn amazing! It really is!!!

Here's what I've thought of, learned, and what I can pass on because there is no such thing as too much inspiration...

1. Let it go! Stop assuming that the world is against you or that you were born with a black cloud over your head. To believe the whole universe or spiritual entity has completely singled you out and shifted the world order just to make your life utterly miserable is self-centered and illogical...seriously.

2. Build a bridge and get over it! Understand that the past does not equal the future. Like I mentioned in a previous blog post, just because you've been fucked over in the past doesn't guarantee that it's all you'll experience in the future! A day that starts off badly with walking up late for work after a late night fight with your boyfriend and spilling coffee all over your brand new skirt will not necessarily end with a black eye or a speeding ticket on your first car! Okay yes, there were situations in our lives that were beyond our control, but there are also many things in life we can control, including your thoughts and views - thus having the possibility to change. Oprah said, "your based level of pleasure is determined by how you view your whole life." You choose happiness... it doesn't choose you.

3. See yourself as a cause, not an effect! Quit thinking of what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen! We only got one life to live people and you don't want to waste it by complaining. If you're not happy with how your life is right now, set goals and work toward them. If you have a whole shit load of bills to pay off, work a little extra or stop buying those expensive shoes you claim you need. If you're complaining with how you can't fit into your favorite jeans, get your ass to the gym. No action is taking an action!

4. Don't loose touch of what makes you truly happy. Surround yourself with positive caring people or things. It may either be your homies, your family, your dog, or your passion. Because when times are tough, turning to passion of music or fashion or your kids or having a girls night out can really help you get back on your feet.

5. Life is short. Learn to appreciate even the little things because remember that it could be worst. Some people would be die to have the pleasure of waking up in under a solid roof over their head or have feet to walk to the restroom in the mornings or see the sun setting over an endless body of water. Be thankful. Be grateful.

Love life ... and I promise you... it will love you back!!

Here's few of my favorite books that keep me inspired: " Words of Wisdom: Daily Affirmations of Faith from Run’s House to Yours" by Rev Run & "O's Guide to Life" by Oprah Winfrey. Get it! It might even inspire you!

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May 6, 2009

Nicest Bitch Award

My homegirl, Tracy, and I were on the phone laughing and "talking stories" when she asked me, "Haaw, why you so nice?!"

I paused in silence. Then I said, "what the hell??!" She then said, "don't get me wrong, you can be the meanest drunk or the grouchiest BITCH... but you ARE really really nice! Like when you're a bitch, you're the biggest bitch. And when you're nice, you're REALLY nice!" HAHAHA... That was the most random question anyone asked me in a long time. I thought about this for days.

Okay, other than anyone waking me up when I don't need to, I really AM nice! I LOVE that I'm nice! I love complimenting others (to those who deserve it of course). I always make sure everyone's happy. I love doing things for people I care about. I put a lot of trust and faith into people. I believe everyone has a good heart. I believe everyone is considered innocent until proven guilty. I believe everyone's cup of water is always half full. Some people may think of "being nice" as a form of weakness, while I only think it as a sign of strength.

A few people told me that I'm TOO nice or TOO friendly like it's a bad thing!?! Why is it so bad to meet new people? Why is it so bad to believe that they are really nice?! Why is it so bad to have some faith and trust?! Why is it so bad to let your guard down for a bit just to have fun?! Why is it bad to treat a few friends with drinks?!? Why waste your life disliking innocent people or being too cautious or even refraining from meeting new people who could possibly be your next lifetime friend? Doing this, you won't be able to REALLY live your life to its fullest so consider yourself a damm boring hermit.

I mean, OK, they've come to you only when they got problems. They talked shit behind your back. They secretly hated you for your achievements and praised you on your failures. They cheated and lied. They spread rumors. They even disrespected you and your family. Basically, you got fucked over - either from a significant other or a friend. I had my share of being naive and gullible which eventually turned into heartache in more ways than one. I've been taken advantage of too. I've been the typical doormat girl. I've been called names. I've even been disrespected. I've been the topic of negative conversation.

This is when you use your inner strength - it's what you do after that matters. Of course I didn't tolerate any of it. I didn't fake the funk either. What did I do? Got mad. Got hurt. Let go. Left it behind. Learned. Laughed. Moved on. And simply just be happy!! Yes, easier said than done... but it's so doable! Just build a bridge and get over it! Just filter out those people who only bring you down. Just don't put too much effort. Just don't expect so much from them next time. Just stay away for how ever long you need to. Just turn and never look back. Just believe in karma. Just go on and LIVE your life! You learn, you move on. Most importantly, don't take the same sitatuation and assume it will repeat itself to the next thing that comes your way. Why waste you precious time and energy advocating your anti-relationship speeches and anti-trust antics?! Just apply it to those that really matter!!!

And those, my friends, are the reasons why I am this NICE!!

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